Sooooo I tend to not do this when I actually have stuff going on, so I figured I would try to start now. The whole truth is that I left Eric. My little heart is hurting. This is typical me. Flockingto the next guy to make me whole again. Like a loser! So who do I pick this time? The fucking cleaning guy Charlie!! Ok, so he’s a little younger and he’s still not ready to grow up. But at the same time he’s right where he needs to be and if anything we could just have fun. But why can’t anyone understand just normal fun. Like damn can we watch a movie and not have sexual contact. Like maybe I just want to watch a movie in the company of a man. I’m not the dating kind. I am the we are in a relationship before we know it type. And even though it hasn’t worked in the past I still just want my relationship to happen organically. So I know the guy, and he’s a good looking fella. He makes me laugh and we have interesting conversation. He seems interested when I talk. Well the details are this. From the beginning, I totally messed up. It’s true ladies! You can’t sell the cow, when they’re getting the milk for free. I sort of, kind of gave it up…. Oooops!
And in true punk fashion he disappears. Shame on me, right? Duh. I liked him and to be honest I totally regretted it. Now he’s stuck with this impression of me, and I’ll never be able to live it down. Oh my goodness!!!!! He could wake up tomorrow and tell the next one that he’s ready to commit and she would believe him and fight in his defense against any hoe saying otherwise about her man. Now don’t get me wrong some times that “thang” can be a game changer for some dudes. I get it. It sets some of them straight, but chances are he just wants to see what he can get. Now in this case Charlie didn’t get the best of me, but he got me for sure. It sucks. I knew that I should’ve played my cards differently, but it had been a long time, and the kid isn’t ugly. Moving on, things were never awkward between us, life just went on. It happened and I figured it was in the past.
Then he comes out of nowhere with this stupid half dead flower and I thought it was a little cute, and honestly what can you expect from these guys anyway. Sorry about the generic man rant, but I’m in that zone right now. Ok so, I thought I might have a chance to make him see me differently. I was a good girl and I finally got to watch the Avengers, because I have a weird thing about going to theaters. I only go with family.
Whatever, so on two separate occasions we watched a flick. Fast forward to today and he’s saying he’s onto the next, and this kid tells me he that he ain’t the kind to kick it if he already knows what I’m working with. OOOOOOOOOO!!! That was rough. Seriously it hurt, but it’s true.
So I guess the new girl is giving it up, and that sort of hurts too. I mean there wasn’t a lot of time or emotion invested and I’ll literally be over it and have a great day tomorrow, but tonight sort of just blows. Mostly, because the truth is, I was digging the kid.